You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
