I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
