if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I need to calm my uterus...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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