well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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