Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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