am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
