Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize