I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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