Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
