i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
