I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
