when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
