Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
