whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
