Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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