his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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