so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
as a side note pls kill me
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
