im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
