just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
