My friends, they love my intelligence
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
