how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
