so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm sobbing to NWA
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
