Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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