i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How does it feel to date your dad?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
