he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
