you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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