it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
