Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
