I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
