What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
how drunk are you?
Several
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
