there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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