you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize