took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
