what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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