He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
