I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
