I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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