An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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