Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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