I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize