I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
