We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
