I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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