i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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