we're blogging at a bar
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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