Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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