At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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