So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
