the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
