Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
