you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
