didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We just shotgunned beers for America
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
