Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
why do cheetos always look like penises
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
