R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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