you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
