you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
