u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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