NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
