I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
