So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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