My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
