you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Boobs speak an international language.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
