What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
