Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
