Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
