After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize